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Wrestling Rambles

Wishin' We Were Ringside

Wrestling Jokes

**I did not come up with ANY of these jokes, some I don’t find funny myself because of their sickness and immorality, but it’s just for entertainment purposes only, enjoy**

– BREAKING NEWS: Rob Van Dam has signed a contract with WWE. Let’s hope he doesn’t hang around with Swagger too much..

Q: If Kofi Kingston and The Dynamite Kid were a tag team what were their name be?
A: BOOM GOES THE DYNAMITE

Q: Why does Vince want to go to heaven?
A: Because he has no chance in hell

Q: Why did Kevin Nash cross the road?
A: He didn’t, he already tore his quad stepping off the curb

Q: Why does Big Show lose his way so frequently?
A: He keeps turning.

How many members of the IWC does it take to put up a lightbulb. A hundred. One to screw it in. The other 99 to complain about how it’s not like the lightbulbs from the Attitude Era.

”Accidentally ran over a kid wearing a John Cena T-shirt. In my defense, I couldn’t see him.”

What did John Cena tell the Japanese Chef?
-You can’t Sashimi!

What did D’Von tell Bubba when they were working at McDonalds?
-Oh Bubba, test the fries!

Why was Ultimate Warrior fired from the pet shop?
-He couldn’t sell Pedigree

What did Hulk Hogan ask in Arts and Crafts class?
-Whatcha you gonna glue, brother?

Why can’t Chris Benoit go to the gas station?
-Because he always carries matches (and he’s dead)

The Dudley’s were getting ready for a dinner party when Bubba realized that they weren’t prepared yet. Quickly, he yelled, Dvon! Set the table!

Matt hardy so fat he sat on the rainbow and skittles fell out.

Q: What did John Cena say to his teacher when she give him an average report card?
A: “You can’t C me!”

What did CM Punk tell Adam Copeland when he tried to feel him up?
I’m straight, Edge. 

Q: RVD and Jeff Hardy get into a car. Who’s driving?
A: The Police.

Q: Why does Mick Foley buy supermarket brand cola?
A: He always goes for the cheap pop

Q: What do you call David Otunga without the talent?
A: David Otunga

Q: What did Batista say when he was hit with a basketball?
A: BASKETBALLS DON”T HOLD GRUDGES!!!

Q: What do you get when you go to Sean Waltman’s house during summer?
A: X-Pac heat

Q: Why did Rikishi become a Chinese food chef?
A: He did it for the wok

Q: What was the name of Chris Jericho’s sex book?
A: ARMBAR…guide to 1004 sex positions!

Q: What does Eddie Guerrero say when he misses his wife?
A: Where the F**K was VICKIE!!!

Q: What did Zack Ryder say when he was taught by a radio?
A: Ahhh RADIO tell me everything you know!!!

Q: What does Owen Hart say everytime he goes to McDonalds?
A: I AM NOT A MCNUGGET!!!!!

Q: What does Shawn Michaels look for in a woman?
A: Someone with screwjob lips.

Q: Why couldn’t Hulk Hogan sleep in the 80’s?
A: He could never lie down for more than three seconds.

Q: Want to hear a Wrestling joke?
A: David Otunga

Q: What does Jerry “The King” Lawler say everytime he goes to a funeral?
A: “That’s it he’s dead”

Q: Why can’t John Cena buy moves from Ultimate Warrior?
A: Because he doesn’t sell them

Q: What is Dolph Ziggler’s favorite song?
A: “Who are you”-by The Who

Q: Who would make the best teacher on Adjectives & verbs?
A: Kevin Nash

Q: What did a fan say when he saw Batista at a seafood restaurant?
A: Batista likes FISHSTICKS!!!

Q: How does Randy Orton grade your test if you failed?
A: STUPID! STUPID! STUPID!

C.M. Punk walks into a bar… 😛

Why does Vince McMahon walk funny?
– Why do you think Triple H has had so many title reigns?

What’s the difference between Vladimir Kozlov and Heidenreich?
– Vladimir Kozlov didn’t …. Michael Cole

What’s the difference between Chris Benoit and Scott Steiner?
– I wouldn’t let Scott Steiner look after my son.

Why did Kevin Nash cross the road?
– He didn’t, he already tore his quad stepping off the curb.

How many TNA fans does it take to put up a lightbulb?
– Both of them.

Why dosen’t TNA have any lightbulbs?
– Ric Flair ordered a pizza, got angry that it took 20 minutes to arrive so he cut a promo on the delivery guy busting himself open with one of lightbulbs and then proceeded on giving elbow drops and dropping knees to rest of the them eventually taking a bumb on the shattered glass while everybody says “he still got it”

Why does Cena do five-knuckle shuffle?
– He’s counting the number of moves he got.

When Dolph Ziggler introduced himself to Vince McMahon, who did Vince introduce Dolph to?
– The nearest shovel

Q: Why did Shaemus Break up with his last girlfriend?
A: Cause she told too many lies, too many lies!

What does Brooke Hogan say when you blow in her ear?
A: Ooooooo…….thanks for the refill.

Q: What’s the difference between a wrestling career and herpes?
A: A wrestling career doesn’t last forever.

Q: What do you call John Cena fans?
A: Right *evil laugh*

Q: What does Awesome Kong have between her breasts that Gail Kim doesn’t?
A: A belly button!

Q: How does Kevin Steen sort his laundry?
A: Filthy goes here, filthy-but wearable goes there.

Q: What do John Cena and Ric Flair have in common?
A: They Both have the same slogan, “You can’t see me “. Cena from the ring, Flair when it’s time to pay his bar tab!

Q: How many WWE  fans does it take to put up a light bulb?
A: Nne, they don’t need 1, they all have to be in bed by 7pm.

Q: What’s Sheamus’ favorite song?
A: Come on Feel the White Noise

—————————————————-
There is hundreds more jokes out there, we will post more up another time. Got a new one? Drop a comment below 🙂

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29 thoughts on “Wrestling Jokes

  1. Quality. The TNA lightbulb one is classic lol.

    How many members of the IWC does it take to put up a lightbulb. A hundred. One to screw it in. The other 99 to complain about how it’s not like the lightbulbs from the Attitude Era.

  2. Q: Why does Vince want to go to heaven?
    A: Because he has no chance in hell

    Q: Why did Kevin Nash cross the road?
    A: He didn’t, he already tore his quad stepping off the curb

    Q: Why does Big Show lose his way so frequently?
    A: He keeps turning.

    Hornswoggle

  3. Q: What’s the difference between a wrestling career and herpes?
    A: A wrestling career doesn’t last forever.

  4. Q: What do John Cena and Ric Flair have in common?
    A: They Both have the same slogan, “You can’t see me “. Cena from the ring, Flair when it’s time to pay his bar tab!

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